New Soul
by Noel Bailey
Summary: A continuation of the Host. Please read! Tell me if i should continue. Suck at summeries
1. Chapter 1

The monsoon seemed to last for ever. But I loved every minute of it. The rains had brought moisture into the air and I loved lying next to Ian and falling asleep to its soft pitter patter. But soon the rains would pass and everyone would return to their original rooms. This made me very nervous. I had decided early on that I would stay in Ian's room with him, but with the rain season coming to an end I began to doubt my decision. I loved Ian with my whole being and I wanted to spend the rest of my last life with him. But there was one human experience that I hadn't had yet. Just thinking about it brought a warm blush to my face. Its not that I didn't want it, I was scared out of my senses. I knew I needed help on the subject, badly. Finally the day before we were going to move out of the game room, I decided to ask Mel for some advice. We were alone washing clothes in the bathing room when I got over my embarrassment and asked her some questions.

"So Mel, are you excited about moving back into your room with Jared?" I asked timidly, keeping my face down even though she couldn't see my blush in the pitch dark.

"I guess. Are you?" She asked as she scrubbed at a stubborn stain. I paused for a few seconds trying to find the right way to word my problem.

"It's just," I paused again "I don't know how Ian and I are going to spend our private time." I let it all out in a rush trying to bottle up the tears that threatened to explode. My new body hated embarrassment and cried easily. Melanie's loud snort bounced of the walls of the cave magnifying itself. She started to laugh uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry…I'll stop…it's just …awkward." She said in between snorts. I tried to stay indifferent because I knew I would be laughing later but at the moment I was mortified.

"Well when a man and a women love each other very much…." She trailed off as if she could see my angered face through the dark.

"Okay sorry. I just had to get that out of my system. Let's start off with how much you know about sex already. And yes we are going to call it sex." I blushed whenever she said the word out loud. She took my hand and led me out of the water. We sat down cautiously aware that we could sit on a sharp rock. I started to talk slowly and with a hushed tone.

"Well I know the mechanics of…sex. I'm just afraid of being good at it." I closed my eyes wishing I could take back the whole conversation. Melanie sighed and patted my hand.

"Do you Wanderer love Ian?"

"Yes." I said simply.

"Does he love you?"

"Well I guess." It felt weird answering a question that only Ian could truly answer.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Everything will work out. I promise." She said as she wrapped he arm around my thin shoulders and gave me a quick squeeze.

"The first time is always scary but it is going to be special. No come on and get up. I'm starting to feel like a mother and we both know that is never going to happen. We have work to do." Melanie rose quickly dragging me up with her. We both picked up the laundry and hung it to dry. The smell of gourmet T.V. dinners filled in our noses and our stomachs growled.

"I'll race ya'!" Melanie yelled over her shoulder already sprinting to the dining hall, forcing me the chase after her half heartedly. She of coursed was going to win. I was sometimes overcome with jealousy towards Melanie. I had become so used to her body and its strength, now this new body was weak and frail. Nobody treated me the same as they had used to. But my jealousy always faded quickly and in its place was guilt for all of the pain Melanie had gone through because of my parasitism. I eventually came to the dining hall panting and tired. Melanie apparently had gotten to the hall before everyone and was sitting down at a table with two plastic containers of food. Everyone in line glared at her. I sat down next to her and we laughed. Well she snorted and I giggled.

"I'm guessing this one is for me." I said eyeing the container with the macaroni and cheese.

"Actually I was planning on eating both. Kicking your ass yet again has got me a little worn out." Melanie said pushing the macaroni back in front of me. I dug in before glaring at Melanie. But my glare quickly turned into a smile that she returned. Melanie was the closest thing to a sister I would ever have, she was my best friend. My smile turned grim when I remembered the time when we hated each other for the body we shared. Electricity sent a shockwave through my body when a very large hand engulfed my shoulder. I turned around to smile at the miracle behind me. And there he was, my partner, my savior and hopefully my lover. Ian bent down and gave me a quick peck on the lips. He knew that I didn't like him to draw attention to us so he kept the kissing to a minimum. But every once and awhile we would pass each other in a dark hallway and he would kiss me eagerly in the shadows. He sat down with a steaming container of lasagna.

"Do you know how many people I had to fight off to get this?" he asked rhetorically.

"No, but please Ian enlighten us." Melanie said sarcastically. But before Ian could shoot back with another sure to be childish comeback Jamie sat down and started to babble about his day.

"I think to day is the worst day ever." He declared crossing his arms like a toddler. We all rolled our eyes because Jamie had been saying that a lot lately. He had been rather dramatic the passed few weeks.

"What happened little buddy?" Jared asked as he joined us.

"Well first of all I'm not your little buddy. Might I remind you I am fourteen years of age?" Jamie said getting redder and redder as the moments passed.

"Hey don't get your panties in a bunch little man." Ian said. I elbowed Ian in the ribs at the same time that Melanie kicked him in the shin.  
"Hey what was that for?" he said rubbing his shin. His shin would defiantly bruise tomorrow. But I think his rock hard muscles did more to my elbow than vice versa.

"Apparently no one cares about my problems." Jamie said as he stormed off, food in hand. Jamie was definitely not acting like himself. We all shrugged at each other and continued eating. Jamie would come back if he wanted dessert.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the reviews! XOXO**

**NB**

Melanie and I waited in the empty dining room, hoping that Jamie would reappear. We were starting to get worried. Jamie always came back for dessert, something was very wrong. After waiting a few more minutes we split up to search for him. It wasn't long before I found him in the room that Melanie would soon share with Jared. He was sitting on the mattress looking like the little boy he used to be. But he had grown a lot since I first came here. He was starting to look like a young man. I sat down beside and put my hand on his arm.

"What's wrong Jamie?" He quickly jerked his arm from under my hand and looked away. Painful silence filled the small room.

"Talk to me. Please. I can't help you out if you don't tell what's going on." I said truthfully, awaiting his response.

"I'm sorry I have been such an ass lately." Jamie finally spoke. I held back my instant protest of his language and urged him on.

"I accept your apology. But why have you been acting like this?"

"I don't know. It's just complicated okay." He said pushing me away again. I gave him a pleading look.

"It's just so stupid. Nothing has really happened. I'm just starting to feel…," He struggled for words" trapped." He looked me in the eye before looking back down at his hands.

"I see the same people everyday. I wake up to the same brown ceiling every morning. I go to school with the same annoying kids. I want to get out of here. Before you parasites came and ruined my life I had friends. I had a family and we went on vacations and everyday something new happened. I had a life. I had opportunities. You've ruined everything. Every single day is a damn struggle. I miss my old life." His words stung me like a slap on the face. But I much rather take a physical injury than the one that Jamie had just given me. I had been called a parasite many times before but never by Jamie. And I never knew how much living in this cave had hurt him. He saw the pain in my face and ran out of the room. I sat there unmoving. My body was frozen into place and my tears burned as they slid down my face. I was silently sobbing. Flash backs of terrible memories flashed through my head. I had worked so hard to make Jamie happy, but the best thing for him would be if I didn't exist at all.

A hate for myself and my kind bubbled painfully in my stomach making me nauseas. I thought of the life Jamie as well as the rest of my humans would have, if my kind had never invaded their planet. Jamie would be going into high school. He would be taking a girl out on his first date. Melanie would be in college having the time of her life. Ian would be reckless and wild like every other man of his age. They would all be happy. I realized I was sleeping when two arms scooped me up. My eyes fluttered open to see Ian's icy blue eyes.

"Go back to sleep Wanderer." Ian said kissing my forehead. He carried me into what was now our room. Everything was already set up and ready. Ian gently laid me onto the mattress and covered me with a soft quilt. I blindly grabbed for his hand and pulled him onto the bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head under his chin. I shed one last tear before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Good Morning." I heard Ian whisper in my ear. I smiled tilting my head to kiss him. When I reviewed my surroundings the events that had taken place the night before whirled around in my head.

"Jamie hates me." I said sinking into my pillow, feeling cold all of the sudden.

"He doesn't hate you." Ian said sitting up on his elbows.

"I have ruined his life. I've ruined everyone's life." I said with a sharp tone.

"No you haven't. We couldn't survive with out you Wanda."

"Ian, don't you understand that if my species didn't exist you wouldn't have to live like this in the first place. I don't belong here. I have never belonged here. Because of me and my kind you have to live in hiding. Lives and families have been torn apart. Jamie is right. I'm just a parasite. You deserve… so much more… than this." I had begun to sob loudly and uncontrollably. At that moment I felt just as monstrous as I did when I first came here. I knew that if I weren't here that this colony would cease to exist, but if there planet had remained untouched they wouldn't be living in caves and struggling for each day. Ian's arms were instantly around me and he pulled my head onto his chest.

"Don't talk like that Wanda." He said stroking my hair. I wanted so much to stay in his arms and live in that moment but I felt too unworthy. I didn't deserve this beautiful human who was good enough to be a soul. But as I thought to myself, I wondered if souls were really all that good in the first place. We had taken the lives of countless creatures for our gain and have never given back. I broke away from Ian abruptly and hurried out of the room.

I didn't stop until I reached the bathing room. It was dark and quiet. I needed to think without the constant distractions of life. I didn't stay because I knew that there was work to be done in the fields and I was determined to help out. If of course they would let me. I tried to shove Jamie out of my head as I washed my faced and started to emerge from the darkness. Melanie was waiting for me with a dry wash cloth and a hairbrush. She stood silently as I dried my face and brushed my hair. She put her arm around my shoulders and led into the dining hall where the smell of scrambled eggs was just mouthwatering.

The dining hall was quiet and only a few people were still there. Melanie and I helped ourselves to some eggs and sat down. Even though I was starving I couldn't find the energy to eat. I didn't feel like eating. The hate in my stomach was still bubbling away making it impossible for me to even think about eating. I pushed my plate in front of Melanie and went to the fields before she could protest. I picked up a watering can and began filling up water bottles for the laborers. This was the only job I was aloud to do. Sometimes people would tell me to rest and take over if they thought I was getting tired. This annoyed me to no end. I wanted to do my part in my community and no one would let me. I enjoyed keeping my hands busy, but my mind could still wander. Jamie's words kept echoing inside my brain, over and over again. I didn't even realize that I was crying until Jeb took me aside and forced me to talk to him.

"Wanda, what's wrong? I've seen far too many tears in my time to ignore these ones." I tried to smile at him. Jeb had always treated me right he had never said anything hurtful or done me any ounce of harm.

"You can't blame the kid for what he said. He is right. Jamie is going through a hard time right now. He is becoming a man and maturing. There are no kids in this community his age so he can't see that other people are going through this. The reality of the way he is going to have to live his life is sinking in. Jamie really does love you, as much as his own sister in fact, but he has to pinpoint his problems on someone. And you seem like the perfect person to point his finger at." Jeb was always right. He paused before continuing.

"But you can't blame yourself for everything. We lived in this cave like this before you became a human. You didn't take away from humanity, personally anyway. You try to redeem yourself everyday, and I respect you for that." Jeb laid his heavy hand on my back and patted me a few times before he went back to work. I mulled over what Jeb had said. And then I went to find Jamie.


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie didn't talk to me until a week later. That week was almost as bad as the first week I had spent here in these caves. His silence was almost worse than any pain I had ever endured. He had always been my friend, my family. I wished so much that I knew what he was thinking. I couldn't stomach the thought of Jamie hating me. It took all of the strength in me not to stare at him during meals, or brush his now too long hair out of his eyes. Time seemed to pass slowly. It seemed like it was a year ago not a week ago that Jamie had sat next to me at dinner and made me retell the tails of my past lives. I didn't know how long his silence was going to last. I was almost grateful that Jared had a raid planned. Going on raids made me feel useful and it would distract me from Jamie's troubles. But this raid was going to be a long one. We were going as far as Oklahoma this time. I wouldn't see Jamie for a couple of weeks.

Finally just hours before we were to leave Jamie caught me in a hall way and took me into his room. He sat on his bed motioned for me to sit next to him. For awhile no one spoke. We both looked at our feet. Jamie broke the silence.

"Wanda, I…." His voice faltered and his head fell onto my shoulder. I instinctively put my arms around his shoulders and found he didn't quite fit there anymore. He had grown and my new body was so tiny. I could hear his voice catch a few times but he managed to only shed a few stray tears. Jamie was too old to cry like he used too. He had too much pride. Though I was silent, my tears were many.

"I'm sorry I've taken all of my anger out on you, but you have got to understand. When I first came here everything was new and it seemed like an adventure. Now that I've grown up I realize how much I have lost and how little this life has to offer me. Wanda I want a girlfriend. I want to talk to people my own age. I want to make something of myself. I want to be captain of the football team. I want to go to college and get so drunk that I have a monstrous hangover and never pick up alcohol again." He laughed at my expression. "Okay maybe not but the point is, I know it's not your fault that I can't have a normal life. But sometimes I just wonder what side you are on." It took me a while to process what he said but I managed.

"I am and always will be on your side Jamie. It kills me that I can't give you what you want. Just please don't ever do that to me again. I rather have you yelling at me than not talking to me at all." Jamie hugged me with all of the strength in his body, which happened to be a lot. I tried to hug him back but I could hardly breathe. Luckily he released me before I suffocated but I wouldn't have said anything. As long as Jamie still gave me hugs, I was happy.

"Okay well I'm sure there are some people you want to spend some time with." Jamie said with a smirk that made me blush. But it was true, I wanted to spend some alone time with Ian before we had to share our time with Melanie, Jared, and of course Kyle. I went to our room to find that Ian was already waiting for me. He immediately put down the book he was reading, without even marking where he left of, and looked up at me smiling.

"Well I've been waiting awhile. Did you patch everything up with Jamie?" He said standing up and engulfing my small frame in a gentle embrace.

I looked up at him, resting my chin in his chest before replying, "Yes. Finally"

He placed his hand tenderly on the side of my face and I leaned into it.

"Well I'm glad. I could tell how miserable you were when he didn't talk to you." Ian's faced looked a bit pained. I didn't mean to worry Ian with my sadness toward Jamie.

"I'm sorry Ian I…" He interrupted me shaking his head.

"Sorry for what? Being depressed? Look at me." Ian cupped my chin with his hand forcing me to look up at him.

"Wanda. Don't you dare be sorry. You did nothing wrong." Before I could protest Ian's perfect lips were smashed against mine. Fire burst through my body, almost like when Jared kissed me while I was in Melanie's body. But this fire was somehow hotter because it was mine and mine alone. No one else could make me burn like Ian, not even Jared. I crushed my body against Ian's forcing him to use the wall for leverage. I pulled him closer and closer as our lips moved together fiercely. And suddenly I heard an animal like moan that startled me before I realized that it had erupted from my own throat. Without thinking I Jumped up and wrapped my legs around Ian's waist and he unexpectedly grabbed my bottom to keep hold. I giggled as I came up for air.

Ian continued kissing me as we moved over to the bed. Ian broke away from me pulling off his shirt and throwing it against the wall. I was almost in awe of his perfectly molded chest and stomach. I couldn't help but run my hands over them, exploring them as we once again began to kiss. I had started to pull my own shirt above my head before Ian froze. He kissed my nose before he went to retrieve his shirt. I immediately felt confused. It was all so perfect. Every thing was going right, why had he stopped?

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked trying to keep my voice void of emotion. Ian came and sat next to me his face still flushed from our kisses.

"No, of course not, you were amazing. If anything you did everything too well." He said giving me a shy smile. I couldn't return the smile, I was still confused.

"Then why did you stop?" I asked letting a little bit of my hurt show through.

"I shouldn't have let it get that far anyway." Ian must have seen the look on my face because he instantly took me into a hug. "I didn't mean it like that. I want you Wanda. I really do but I forgot about protection." It took a few moments for me to understand what he was saying.

"Oh." I said blushing. I hadn't even thought of that possibility. Ian was right to stop us when he did. But the idea of a baby didn't scare as much as it should have. My thoughts wandered into a memory. I remembered seeing two souls caring for a little toddler. The two souls quickly took the form of me and Ian. We were at a park playing with our little boy. He had Ian's blue eyes and my blonde hair. He was so precious. I suddenly yearned for that child.

"Wanda. Earth to Wanda." Ian was saying as he waved his hand in front of my face. I came back to reality with a start. He gently pulled me away from him so that he could look at me.

"Jared and I were talking about it a while ago and we were wondering if you could grab a few boxes of condoms. I mean, it just sounds practical." He gave me another kiss as if too emphasize his meaning of practical. But I wasn't so sure about it. I was embarrassed just thinking about taking a box of condoms to the register. I couldn't imagine how awkward it would be. I could barely get tampons without feeling humiliated. But Ian was right, they were practical. Even we souls had learned that lesson the hard way.

All forms of birth control had been destroyed after the souls took over. As ironic as it may sound, we felt it was cruel to deny any living organisms life. But the amount of pregnancies went up dangerously high. And there was a great fear of over population. So the souls began to see the necessity of birth control.

**AN: I know it's not a great chapter, but please continue to review. And I know the condom thing is a bit impractical. The souls would have probably developed some kind of birth control that was ten times better but I couldn't resist. Just picture Wanda's face as she stands in front of boxes and boxes of condoms. **


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